Question of the Day

[ayoub]

William Blake said it is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend, do you think that's true?

Comments

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

yes.~paul

[fire-fox01.livejournal.com]

Not really. My enemies I dont have anything to do with. My friends I will forgive, especially the better I know them. BUT we do expect more from our friends than our enemies so I can see what he means. Maybe we hold them to higher standards. I know I'm much much more disappointed when my friends let me down because I expect my enemies to.

[reynold.livejournal.com]

Yes, especially when the fried is one who is very close to you and the hurt is extremely bad. But then again, sometimes with friends we make the injury to be bigger than it is because we don't expect it from ones so close...

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

Only if you're the forgiving-type. =)

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I just can't see it that way, I'm afraid... Could you explain why?

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Your answer is very similar to mine, my little wolf sister :)

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I can see that perspective, but don't you find that the friendship itself gives you the strength to forgive?

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Good answer... :)

[avis-noctis.livejournal.com]

Only in certain situations. I can forgive a distant enemy more than I can forgive one with whom I am intimately and deeply involved. The more personal the attack, the less likely it is that I can forgive an enemy.

I feel that with friends, I have greater expectations. Friends affect me in a closer way than enemies. If someone I consider a dear, close friend did something that hurt me drastically, I would have a harder time resolving that emotionally than I might with an enemy. I tend to try to ignore my enemies (which is why I have rather few; they simply get tired of messing with me) rather than allow them to affect me deeply. It's easier for me to forgive an enemy because I already have created a habit of "blowing them off".

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

On that note, it's just as easy to forgive a friend as an enemy because if you are looking at the trespasser from their point of view, you're likely going to be looking for the whys. Once you've done that, only really rare and true mother fuckers won't be on a fast track towards becoming a new friend. In other words, if you're the forgiving type, you might not have that many enemies to begin with as much as assholes that you simply exclude from your life.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

But if you forgive an enemy, aren't they no longer an enemy?

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

That's a pretty cool approach to it. I like it.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Me being the forgiving type, I would agree with the last bit of that statement....

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

Not necessarily. Enemies may do something against you because they have a sense of righteousness about why they're doing things. If what they do goes beyond the parameters of how they want to affect you, they may still feel remorseful for the collateral damage and even apologize for the instance, but they will still be your enemy.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I can't make that distinction... There are people I don't forgive, and they are enemies, but enemy is a strong word for someone you may have forgiven, but can't bring yourself to trust...

[fire-fox01.livejournal.com]

That last part is EXACTLY how I am. I dont have many enemies at all because if I seriously dont like someone I just have nothing to do with them. Well said. :)

[fox-bard.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on the offense, personally.

[crescent-fresh.livejournal.com]

it's possibly true, considering you'd expect a transgression from an enemy, but not from a friend. good line, though.

[kalquessa.livejournal.com]

Without question, it is true. It is for me, at any rate.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yes, a very good line...

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That's good to know... :)

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Very good point...

Some offenses are much worse from a friend than from another...

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

it is much more hurtful when your friends
betray you, and thus harder to forgive them.~paul

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

But doesn't the bond of friendship shared give you strength to forgive them too?

[rowanchey.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...well...I am my own worst enemy. And I don't seem to have any problems with forgiveness! : )~

[poetbear.livejournal.com]

sure. i didn't say you couldn't forgive them,
it's just harder.~paul

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

LMAO!

[tassy.livejournal.com]

I think its eaiser to forgive a friend... but the hurt is 10x more painful. I've been experiencing the need to forgive someone I care deeply about... and the betrayal has hurt so bad that I can't think of much else. I haven't been able to forgive completely yet... but I'm working on it because I care so deeply that to not forgive would be much worse.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yes, you're right...

[reynold.livejournal.com]

In some ways, yes. In others, a couple times I've wondered if it was truely a friendship. It also depends on the hurt. I'm usually a very forgiving person, but it's been taken advantage of by one or two people and now I question more before I forgive...