That I am not getting better. That I am afraid to post things in my own lj for fear of reprisals. That when I do a risk assessment, I come out losing every single time. That I need more sausages. (this is the only thing in this list that's easy to fix.) That I am trying to decide if taking medication and losing yet another day is better than living with the noise inside my head right now.
That I'm going to have to march Dave to Homebase for a tree/decorations, because he hates Christmas so much that if I don't, nothing will get bought. Ever.
Also making a mental shopping list for food and willing the whole local high school population to come down with laryngitis. (They're loud).
Work: What does the supervisor want to bitch about now? And why at 7:30 in the frakkin morning. I've got research to do for Health Literacy month, and really need to get going on it.
Home: I really need to get my sewing room set up. And finish promised projects. And not promise more. And go to the guild meeting tomorrow night. And heading over to Wolfy's to butcher venison this weekend. And... (the list goes on)
Love: The Hubby made it safely to work.
Random bits: Wild honeysuckle lotioin's not so bad, but this morning it seems to be stronger than usual. Sean Bean may or may not be getting married again. David Tennant is an amazingly physical actor. I missed the season closer for Torchwood - damnit. I have mail to send/ship out. And... (the list goes on)
"This is some bullshit snow. Everyone in Baltimore who's worried about it is an asshole." Mind you, I'm not feeling malice, I'm just blowing off any importance to this snow flurry. What you have to understand is that this place shuts down for 1/2" of snow. You'd have thought effing Godzilla was attacking.
How to prove my brother didn't do what they are charging him with. How come I am the only one trying to figure out a way to do so. Hoping like hell that it has been posponed so that I can search for a laywer that actually cares enough to research things. How am I going to afford a laywer and my wedding at the same time.
Hoping my car will hold up until I have the money to fix it. Wondering when the hell I will have the money to fix it.
How medieval that the Italian company I am working with on this project is closed on the 5th December because it is Santa Barbara' day (She's the patron saint for makers of gunpowder, ammunitions, fireworks - and rocket motors too apparently)!
I'm listening to an audiobook, "A Fine Balance" by Rohinton Mistry and really enjoying it. I'm thinking it's been a long time since I've been to India and I've never been to Mumbai.
· Folding a piece of paper in half more than seven times without cheating. · Alien life. · Insomnia. · Wondering if i'll get my stage play written and finished without giving up on it. (It'll only be about a 5-10 minute monologue. And it's holiday themed.) · Blouses that fit me most excellently. · The christmas card i probably won't be sending to my boyfriend.
I think i'm falling irresolutely back into old habits. Except they'll be older, wiser, more mature habits. Habits that are capable of exhibiting right behaviour, even if the situation doesn't call for it.
I want to revel in this "high" i've been feeling all day for the rest of my life, but i can already feel it slipping away.
I often wish i had real friends rather than sometimes friends or acquaintances or bed-buddies. It would be nice to have someone to confide in besides whoever reads my journal entries. Even then, my readers only know what i post...
I sometimes wish i could just marry a rich man and make my problems disappear that way, but i think i'm too ugly fat to be a trophy wife.
That's just a portion of what's on my mind right now.
Actually...
Date: 2007-12-05 12:49 pm (UTC)That I am afraid to post things in my own lj for fear of reprisals.
That when I do a risk assessment, I come out losing every single time.
That I need more sausages. (this is the only thing in this list that's easy to fix.)
That I am trying to decide if taking medication and losing yet another day is better than living with the noise inside my head right now.
Re: Actually...
Date: 2007-12-05 03:38 pm (UTC)I would hope that people who read your LJ would be more understanding, so that you don't have to fear reprisals...
Re: Actually...
From:Re: Actually...
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Date: 2007-12-05 01:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 01:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 02:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-12-05 01:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 01:16 pm (UTC)Also making a mental shopping list for food and willing the whole local high school population to come down with laryngitis. (They're loud).
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:On what level?
Date: 2007-12-05 01:31 pm (UTC)Home: I really need to get my sewing room set up. And finish promised projects. And not promise more. And go to the guild meeting tomorrow night. And heading over to Wolfy's to butcher venison this weekend. And... (the list goes on)
Love: The Hubby made it safely to work.
Random bits: Wild honeysuckle lotioin's not so bad, but this morning it seems to be stronger than usual. Sean Bean may or may not be getting married again. David Tennant is an amazingly physical actor. I missed the season closer for Torchwood - damnit. I have mail to send/ship out. And... (the list goes on)
Re: On what level?
Date: 2007-12-05 03:41 pm (UTC)Mostly good thoughts!
Except for the bloody supervisor!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 01:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 01:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:42 pm (UTC)No disappearing!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 01:51 pm (UTC)ccup
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 01:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2007-12-05 01:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 02:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 02:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 02:25 pm (UTC)You asked.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:44 pm (UTC)This place shuts down for 1/2" of snow too!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 02:37 pm (UTC)Hoping my car will hold up until I have the money to fix it. Wondering when the hell I will have the money to fix it.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:44 pm (UTC)A good day to celebrate!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 04:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 04:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 03:59 pm (UTC)Sigh. It's a big world.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 04:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 06:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 07:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 06:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 07:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 06:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 07:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 06:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-05 07:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-06 03:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-06 01:23 pm (UTC)LOL!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-06 07:28 am (UTC)· Alien life.
· Insomnia.
· Wondering if i'll get my stage play written and finished without giving up on it. (It'll only be about a 5-10 minute monologue. And it's holiday themed.)
· Blouses that fit me most excellently.
· The christmas card i probably won't be sending to my boyfriend.
I think i'm falling irresolutely back into old habits. Except they'll be older, wiser, more mature habits. Habits that are capable of exhibiting right behaviour, even if the situation doesn't call for it.
I want to revel in this "high" i've been feeling all day for the rest of my life, but i can already feel it slipping away.
I often wish i had real friends rather than sometimes friends or acquaintances or bed-buddies. It would be nice to have someone to confide in besides whoever reads my journal entries. Even then, my readers only know what i post...
I sometimes wish i could just marry a rich man and make my problems disappear that way, but i think i'm too
uglyfat to be a trophy wife.That's just a portion of what's on my mind right now.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-06 01:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-12-07 01:59 am (UTC)