Question of the Day

[ayoub]

How do you resolve conflicts?

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I like to talk, find common ground, and build from there...

Comments

[milagro75.livejournal.com]

Try and talk them out, and even if the differences aren't resolved at least hopefully both parties have made an effort to listen to the other's point of view.

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

Diplomatically, but from a position of strength. Conflict resolution with out the strength as a foundation is asking for unreasonable capitulation. A dog without teeth is more easily kicked.

[erva-doce.livejournal.com]

i talk it out most definitely. i don't let a lot of time pass at all. it's important to just get it out there in my opinion. i make sure to stay very open to what the other person says too and find at least one thing they say to agree with because there is almost always something. :)

[libra-dragon.livejournal.com]

Usually try and talk things out.

[hippie-geisha.livejournal.com]

I usually have to take a step or two back from the situation, then go about finding some sort of resolution.

[uawildcatgrl.livejournal.com]

Same as you!

[eternalxwhisper.livejournal.com]

Depend who it's with. I'm more feisty when it comes to my parents. My brother Kai and I usually butt heads and are far to stubborn to listen to one another's views. Chay, the youngest, I usually let him have his say and them we talk through it. Friends, it's easy to just talk through them and hear what the other has to say. Even if we don't agree we still remain friends. Strangers, I'll take a step back, listen to what their saying, ask questions when needed, it's always good to get a feel for their personality. I don't like having arguments so I'd try to avoid it as much as possible.

[popfiend.livejournal.com]

I talk it out. I reach out and lay my feelings on the line openly.

Not any more complex than that.

It has served me well in my friendships (for the most part), and most definitely in my marriage. It's the reason the Missus and I groove more often than we don't. You don't spend 20 years involved with someone without conflict and you don't get to 20 years without figuring out how to resolve them.

[fox-bard.livejournal.com]

Whether resolving my own conflicts or as mediator for others, I tend to follow this:

First: I listen!!! Not with the ears of my heart (which might catch me up in my own emotional wind), but with my reason and logic. Nine times out of ten, what is being said is the head of a weed that indicates a much larger root system under the surface.

I am impeccable with my word when I communicate. I do what I can to establish common ground.

I don't take their problems personally. I reach out of my center of gravity and try to see each side for what it is.

I try to deduce without assumption to find the root of the problem. You know when you've hit the nail on the head because it registers in the eyes while the face masks over. Then, after ripping that bandage off, I try to purge and heal the wound from within, letting the person know that their feelings are legitimate. I've seen amazing transformations come from a little genuine understanding.

I do the best I can to restore/create harmony once the root issue is uncovered. This involves: showing the parties their individual center of gravity and why they are being affected this way, then making a plan for meeting the other party half-way. Or parting ways permanently, if that is what is needed. Basically, get the parties away from the pain and make a structured plan for healing.

[nowsheshines.livejournal.com]

I'd prefer to talk it out and at least come to an understanding. But apparently others view me as talking the whole subject to death. :/

Now, I just pretend the conflict doesn't bother me at all or that it isn't there at all.

[ktsies2.livejournal.com]

I generally try to avoid all conflict. Haha. However, compromise is the key when I must deal with one.

[ziyda.livejournal.com]

I take some time before I open my mouth, to check out the feelings, and really see what the other person is not saying.
If I start from a willingness to understand, it goes much better.
Then talk and listen.
I can't say that I always do this, because I'm not perfect.
This works much better face to face.
If my goal is to be able to "hug" at the end of a conflict, and to be able to say "we're okay", it is a growing experience.

[chiropteraclan.livejournal.com]

It really depends on the nature of the conflict and the personality of the people involved. I prefer to sit down and talk after tempers have cooled, but some people simply do not work that way.

[castlelady.livejournal.com]

I do it the same way you do.

[empatia.livejournal.com]

I write letters...I'm not a very good face to face conflict resolver I can never say what I want and have it come out right i need to write it.

[donnickcottage.livejournal.com]

Ever seen a vulture eyeing a piece of road kill? Ever seen a mean ol' dog staring from the end of his leash at a haughty cat? Ever seen a tiger who's been taunted by a couple of punks for a half hour and suddenly figures out he's seven feet long and the fence is only five?

I reason, man, I reason; with malice:)