"I feel like ten pounds of gorilla shit run through the sewer."
"My stomach feels like a rabid rotor rooter with too much time on its hands has taken up residence!"
"I need to go evacuate the nuclear waste from my system...(this is fair warning NOT to walk by the bathroom door without a full gas mask on or risk certain death from the smell)"
Of course these all relate to my being sick because they are the ones that come to mind first. I have lots that we use in the family... these are just ones that I thought of immediately.
I wish you your good health back quickly, dude. I do. :(
Mostly I love "mad as a hatter" though. I'm not sure why, it just sounds awesome. And maybe because Alice in Wonderland was my first book that wasn't a shapes, colors and alphabet book. So.
"He or she is just a few donuts short of a baker's dozen."
Hope that you are both doing and feeling a bit better, that you and yours are doing all right, that things are going okay, and that the rest of the day goes all right for you all.
Like.. Dark as Egypt Drunk as a Skunk As useful as a Chocolate teapot As old as the hills Thick as two short planks My chances had been as slim as a gambler’s wallet all along Without them it was no more dangerous than a farmer with a shotgun Crippled more than a one-legged pirate with termites :) xoxo
"Be quick - like a bunny." "Beats the shit out of me." "No bigger than a popcorn fart." "Knee-high to a grasshopper." "Older than dirt." "You threw me under the bus." (I took the blame for you.)
Gah! I have a bunch of really good ones but none are coming to mind just now :( A zombie must've eaten my brain!
ETA: No wait! I remembered one! "You have the attention span of a bowl of oatmeal." Usually I use that one about myself cause, yeah, I'm so easily dis- Ooh! Shiny!
"I feel like hammered shit." "It's colder than a well-digger's ass out there." "Like a long-tailed cat in a rocking chair factory." "As trustworthy as a chocolate hammer." "Useless as hen-shit on a pump handle."
I've always said that people have "the IQ of a bowl of mayonnaise, but not one that's had time to think in the sun." or "all the sense of a dead starfish without the practical application."
Slicker than deer guts on a door knob. Dukes of Hazzard. Hillbilly but funny as all hell! There's one.. funny as hell! HAHAHAHA! Don't know what it means. I've personally never found the idea of hell funny outside Lil' Nicky with Adam Sandler. "You have the personality of a paper bag" - we use this one often to describe a guy we know who lives around here. He is SUPER smart but has no social IQ AT ALL! He can hold alot of info in but talking to him isn't much fun... if you can get him to talk at all! LOL "That's more fun than a wet dog has stink" -can sub skunk in there too "Dumber than dog shit" -I personally don't know the IQ of dog shit. I could be being really unfair using this one as who knows.. maybe dog shit is pretty smart. LOL
I could go on and on and on and on... I won't... but could. Consider yourself warned... I have free time on my hands today and I'm not afraid to use it! However unwisely! LOL
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 11:11 am (UTC)"My stomach feels like a rabid rotor rooter with too much time on its hands has taken up residence!"
"I need to go evacuate the nuclear waste from my system...(this is fair warning NOT to walk by the bathroom door without a full gas mask on or risk certain death from the smell)"
Of course these all relate to my being sick because they are the ones that come to mind first. I have lots that we use in the family... these are just ones that I thought of immediately.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 11:11 am (UTC)I feel like death warmed over.
We are sickies together.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 11:22 am (UTC)Are you feeling any better?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 11:37 am (UTC)Mostly I love "mad as a hatter" though. I'm not sure why, it just sounds awesome. And maybe because Alice in Wonderland was my first book that wasn't a shapes, colors and alphabet book. So.
One of my favourites...
"He or she is just a few donuts short of a baker's dozen."
Hope that you are both doing and feeling a bit better, that you and yours are doing all right, that things are going okay, and that the rest of the day goes all right for you all.
Hugs. *HG*
God bless and take care. :).
Olga/Maddie
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 12:52 pm (UTC)Dark as Egypt
Drunk as a Skunk
As useful as a Chocolate teapot
As old as the hills
Thick as two short planks
My chances had been as slim as a gambler’s wallet all along
Without them it was no more dangerous than a farmer with a shotgun
Crippled more than a one-legged pirate with termites
:)
xoxo
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 01:02 pm (UTC)Person X: "I wonder when they're going to be coming out with season 4 of Deadwood."
Mighty Rontor: "'Deadwood'? Honey, that show's deader than yesterday's fried chicken!"
I did so love that show, though. I doubt even Shakespeare could have strung together such poetic cursing.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 01:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 02:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 02:21 pm (UTC)"Beats the shit out of me."
"No bigger than a popcorn fart."
"Knee-high to a grasshopper."
"Older than dirt."
"You threw me under the bus." (I took the blame for you.)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 02:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 02:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 03:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 03:36 pm (UTC)And I use it regularly.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 04:12 pm (UTC)ETA: No wait! I remembered one! "You have the attention span of a bowl of oatmeal." Usually I use that one about myself cause, yeah, I'm so easily dis- Ooh! Shiny!
;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 05:04 pm (UTC)Re: One of my favourites...
Date: 2009-01-13 05:15 pm (UTC)x
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 06:34 pm (UTC)"That'll go over like a pregnant woman pole vaulting."
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 09:20 pm (UTC)"It's colder than a well-digger's ass out there."
"Like a long-tailed cat in a rocking chair factory."
"As trustworthy as a chocolate hammer."
"Useless as hen-shit on a pump handle."
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-13 09:24 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 01:09 am (UTC)lol *scratches head*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 01:10 am (UTC)Thank you...
And I like your one, too. *BG*
God bless and take care. :).
Olga/Maddie
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 01:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 02:03 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 04:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 04:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 04:56 pm (UTC)There's one.. funny as hell! HAHAHAHA! Don't know what it means. I've personally never found the idea of hell funny outside Lil' Nicky with Adam Sandler.
"You have the personality of a paper bag" - we use this one often to describe a guy we know who lives around here. He is SUPER smart but has no social IQ AT ALL! He can hold alot of info in but talking to him isn't much fun... if you can get him to talk at all! LOL
"That's more fun than a wet dog has stink" -can sub skunk in there too
"Dumber than dog shit" -I personally don't know the IQ of dog shit. I could be being really unfair using this one as who knows.. maybe dog shit is pretty smart. LOL
I could go on and on and on and on... I won't... but could. Consider yourself warned... I have free time on my hands today and I'm not afraid to use it! However unwisely! LOL
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-15 11:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-16 11:57 am (UTC)