For oxsleep2dreamox's challenge

[ayoub]

It's a night without colour, the rain had washed it all away, leaving a grey that made you want to shiver regardless of the temperature.
I turn away from the window, the fuse always goes in thunderstorms, and my last candle was half burnt out. They're saying the storms will continue all week. I need a job. Something easy, yet profitable. Sitting in the office makes me no money, but I can't afford the rent for a home as well.
Lightning flashes, and a silhouette appears at the door, and then you knock.
"Come in," I say, sitting on the edge of the desk.
The darkness hides the damage. The slight tattiness to your bag, the bald patches in your fur coat, and the faded stains on your tight white dress. And the faded bruise.
The scent of your cheap perfume fills the air as you approach me, the cheap cigarette in a fake ivory holder stained by your red lipstick glows faintly.
"I've been told you can help me," you say, trying to sound husky, but sounding just ill.
"Depends on your wallet, and the problem," I say, letting you play your game.
"I need you to find my father," you say, putting five hundred dollars on the table.
I sit up, not being able to hide my eagerness to touch the cold hard cash I've been dreaming of. "Who is he?"
"Some rich guy from the city," you say, handing me a picture, old and tattered at the edges.
"I'll find him," I say confidently, gathering up the money and pocketing it. The man in the picture is someone I recognise, a big player in one of the corporates.
"What do you want me to do when I find him?" I ask as you get up.
"Tell him his daughter's a whore, so he can send his friends to me, I need the work."

This was fun to write...

Comments

[inmyocean.livejournal.com]

scary at how similar your story and my poem for the challenge are and we were writing it at the same time. great parallels.

good job I love the ending. her sarcastic wit is perfect. :)

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I wrote the dialogue first, then spent a while setting the scene... The line just made me think of Bogart...

Thanks :D

[inmyocean.livejournal.com]

another similar coincidence: I was thinking of those old b&w movies about private eyes and dames ...

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That's the first thing I thought of, and ran with it...

[nyc-poet.livejournal.com]

oo i love the sarcasm and the ending and yeah, great stuff! who knew so much could be packed into that little story! ♥ ~Sam~

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

:D Thanks!

[oxsleep2dreamox.livejournal.com]

woo I liked that. lol I wasnt expecting the ending. I read in and was just like oohh rough...that was fun sir! Great job

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

I liked the feel of it :)

[oxsleep2dreamox.livejournal.com]

very much so..its a great piece

[hyruspoetry.livejournal.com]

i like how you made light of the situation at the end.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I pictured it as more cynical, but it's a laugh too

[hyruspoetry.livejournal.com]

i didn't laugh though, it reminded me of when someone is hurting, they always cover it by being a smartass or faking a smile. it was too real if you know what i mean.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked it :)