Question of the Day

[ayoub]

How do you let someone down easy?

Comments

[kay.livejournal.com]

At times you can't ... clarity is good, though, it isn't always 'easy' but stringing someone along is far worse than being truthful, even thought the truth may hurt.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yeah... Clarity is probably the best way...

[smwright.livejournal.com]

I've never been any good at this...

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Me neither...

[childeofloki.livejournal.com]

I don't. I can't, it doesn't seem fair.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Heh...

[childeofloki.livejournal.com]

I know... That's pretty bad, isn't it?

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

With conviction, apologetic politeness and clarity between the two of us.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I think that's the best way...

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

I think most people put off letting people down not so much because of why they must as much as because of the knowing that they must disappoint. It's actually easiest if you muster the conviction behind it. The conviction and the clarity are the two most important aspects of it for sure, followed very closely by apologetic diplomacy.

My tuppence.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That's very true for me... I hate to disappoint...

[mighty-rontor.livejournal.com]

Another aspect that I think people rarely consider: There will be pain 90% of the time no matter what; either yours or theirs. One cannot be wishy-washy when one has to disappoint someone. To do so is to invite a wound that either never heals or takes too long to heal. It also runs the risk of becoming a slave to someone's heart in the future. One must balance being clinical with apologetic and diplomatic.

That's lot of Siddhartha Reeves in a given day, ain't it? =)

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yup it is!

Good wisdom!

[kdawg.livejournal.com]

That's a tough one, I honestly don't think there is any actual way to do it. If you do have to do it though, just think about the other persons feelings and try not to hurt them. That's really the best way to go about it.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yeah... makes sense... I hate doing it though...

[kdawg.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm the same way... especially with people who I still want to be friends with and/or like.

[jovi-diva.livejournal.com]

I'm not so good at that. I honestly don't think I've ever been able to do that. I find brutal truth to be the best policy. If you let someone down easily..it gives them a false hope that it may not actually be a let down.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Brutal truth... I've never been good at that... :P

[jovi-diva.livejournal.com]

I wasn't when I was a little younger, but I'm REALLY good at it now! LOL!

[alainn-mactire.livejournal.com]

Honesty, clarity and without false hope.

But there are degrees of harsh - my ex dumped me over the phone the day after I'd had a painful hospital procedure done...not advised (the guy was 42, he should have known better)

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That's definitely NOT a good way to do it!

[dishapeaches.livejournal.com]

I'm very blunt and outspoken. I just tell them that we don't click and please don't take it personal. I try to do it as tactfully as possible though - I try not to hurt their feelings.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yeah, tact is definitely the way...

[kabandra.livejournal.com]

Do it fast and honestly. When you let someone down, you let someone down. If you have to you have to...
The best thing is to make sure they aren't left confused or wondering, so you just be clear and honest as you can be.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

It's a difficult thing to do...

[chiropteraclan.livejournal.com]

By not dragging things out, be tactful and honest, and lay a clear boundary down.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That looks like the best way...

[chiropteraclan.livejournal.com]

Well, I was thinking in terms of being the one let down. That is how I would want it to be handled. Clear cut, no misunderstandings.

[sorah.livejournal.com]

I've found the best way to let someone down easy is to just be honest, but with a sense of compassion. Usually, I focus on the reason why I feel "things" won't work out by letting the other person know that our paths are not compatible with one another, by no fault of either of us.

It's never easy to do, but I found that approach to be the easist.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

A very good approach...

[sorah.livejournal.com]

You appear sad. Are you OK?

I've been a bit MIA lately..

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I'm OK :D

Actually, I've been riding a bit of a high (go a couple of posts back) :D

[uawildcatgrl.livejournal.com]

by using your heart.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yes indeed :D

[shamrocks-13.livejournal.com]

Honestly...there is no easy way. I sat here for a minute, thinking of how I would do it, and you know? All of it is just a slap in the face. Part of life, one must get over it?

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

Yeah... it's like ripping off a band-aid...

[sirenity.livejournal.com]

Is this a rhetorical question? Cause don't you do this ALL the time? =p

*cousinly nudge* heh

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

LMAO!

Moi?

*innocent look*

[avis-noctis.livejournal.com]

Ehh...I kind of feel like there is no really easy way. It's just a necessity that must be done. So I'd want to be as clear and direct as possible without being too harsh.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I agree... No easy way...

[photodiva02.livejournal.com]

It's hard and I usally don't and end up hurting their feelings.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

I hate hurting people... :(

[katamphigorical.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to figure that out myself. All the words i wanna say to my guy keep dying in my throat. It's making both of us feel beyond miserable.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

:(

*hugs you*

[donnickcottage.livejournal.com]

Give them a parachute; then push them out of the plane.

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

LMAO!

:D

I wonder if I could arrange that...

[crescent-fresh.livejournal.com]

be honest and direct but not overly critical.

[eternalxwhisper.livejournal.com]

I try to be as honest and gentle as possible. I hate inflicting pain in another who I care about intentionally even though I know it has to be done =(

[ayoub.livejournal.com]

That's the best way to do it...