Question of the Day
Jan. 9th, 2009 08:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ayoubWhat questions do you have that you feel are unanswerable?
Apart from "What women want?" I think every question is answerable with enough time and research ;)
ayoubApart from "What women want?" I think every question is answerable with enough time and research ;)
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(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-09 02:43 pm (UTC)I am talking about wandering eyes and cheating spouses kinda of thing. Why do people always want the piece of flesh they don't have and hurt the ones they do?
(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-09 06:05 pm (UTC)Somewhere, way down the line, we still have the instinct to look for the strongest mates, and that instinct has a horrible brother named "To Hell With Monogamy".
But these instincts have been well buried for ages, and we have proven that they can be dispersed of, so I place the blame mostly on our society. A society which lauds the idea of the "perfect match" and mixes it with a hearty dose of selfishness and instant gratification. Add in the media bludgeoning us with constant reminders of our lack of wavy hair, chiseled jaws, perfect breasts (although, to be honest, I think most actresses are horrendously flat chested and actors are ridiculously feminine, but what do I know?), and all such things and the added bonus of an extremely fast form of communications with faceless strangers (and despite that, communication continues to become more inefficient between actual people) and you have a culture that is incredibly mixed up in the head.
We live in an era we were not prepared for. The Victorian days still clutch at our ragged ends, and we still have moral groupies from our pre-industrialized days following us around, but the times are changing, and have to, considering the amount of information and ideas available to us.
The world is changing, times are changing, the culture is changing, but people are not.
The result? We cling to dreams of perfection and lose the patients to compromise and realize that perfection is a quality invented by man. It cannot be cataloged, counted, or priced and when it comes to people- it cannot be accomplished. Not because man kind is incapable of reaching any level of greatness, no. Simply because we are unable to see that greatness in others.
Sorry, I got to rambling and I don't even think I made a point.
As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-09 08:59 pm (UTC)In my house it's called "The Big Lie", but you've summed it up reasonably well.
The shorter version is that the big lie is the one we are told from childhood- that there is one and only one person out there for you, waiting somewhere. That all you have to do is find them(and of course, they're just waiting around for you, because you're the only person for *them*, too!) They will complete your life forever after, and you will always want that and only that person and they you, forever.
It's nonsense. At least it's nonsense for the overwhelming majority of people.
The reason the lie is so damned pervasive is because we can all point to someone who has that relationship. What no one is telling you(generic) is that the percentage of people who do is (just to make a comparison, not an actual statistic) about the same percentage of people who are left handed- about 9%. The other 91% are not really going to find it and be happy with what they get. A lot of people stay together not because of anything to do with happiness- it's simply other, more practical considerations and concerns. They agree to detente, as long as it's not outright misery, for the sake of children, money, pets and possessions(and outright social pressure- after all, *they* don't want to be the "failure".) The big lie also makes those 91% feel like failures as people- somehow damaged and broken and less worthy, because they're convinced that they're in the minority- after all, *everyone else* can do it, right? That's what we're taught.
It's crap. And people wonder why I loathe, utterly, romantic comedies and chick flicks.
Re: As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-10 08:39 am (UTC)But, hell... Why bother trying to fix a problem when there is this magic, faceless box you can talk to with someone at the other end who "truly understands you"?
Bah. Foolishness.
Re: As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-10 09:40 am (UTC)Re: As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-10 10:34 am (UTC)Compromise, loyalty, empathy, trust, and certain concepts that might be hard to come to terms on, such as no one wins a gender war, don't shoot for perfection, happiness is not the end-all-be-all, it has to be constantly worked for, maintained, and re-upholstered, get the finances in order first before setting aside play money, and the biggest one- no matter which path you choose in life, at some point down that road it will turn out it was the wrong path to choose, no matter which path you take.
Re: As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-10 11:07 am (UTC)Re: As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-10 11:12 am (UTC)Does that make a person evolutionarily superior, or a throw back?
It probably doesn't matter, in the end.
Re: As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-10 11:19 am (UTC)most statistical outliers are.
Re: As applied to our culture, not speaking about others...
Date: 2009-01-10 06:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-01-09 06:06 pm (UTC)I haven't slept in four days.
(no, it's not drug induced)