and its not always you taht does the pushing, life has a funny way of pushing and pushing and pushing and yet, some how, you dont always crack and if you do, you get right back on the train and keep going
I have to agree.. it's not always a choice we get to make, whether we push ourselves. Many times for many people, it's a matter of survival. Lifes events push, and we push back, push through, push on. Do we *fail*? How about changing that word to *fall*. Yes, we fall. But to survive, you can't lay there long. who knows how soon the ice cream truck will drive down the street, and you have to make a choice, lay there and let it run you over, or get up and order a dilly bar.... Ok.. well it made sense to me lmao . That's what I get for staying up too late again. lol
i learned that by having problems in school, switching majors 2 different times, my dad getting sick wtih cancer again, then my grandpa and then dads cancer spreading and grandpa dying and dads cancer spreading amunst other problems, living with my emotionally needed gram all summer, dealing with my family, coming back to school, struggling, going home to watch my father die, to struggle with actually learning what relationships with boys are actually (joy and heartbreak alike) to trying to keep my head above water while helping most of my friends through all their problmes and most of them just in a pay attention to me mode and hardly remembering that im hurting and grieving mode and this is all within in the last 2 years and im set to graduate in may and im scared out of my mind, well i will walk in may and recieve my diploma after i finish the 3 classes i will be finishing over the summer, hopefully i can get them done. i also, among classes, am watching my mom sell the only house i have ever lived in, my sister and i havent spoken to eachother for 2 months because she cant deal with the fact that dad died (she would probably see it a lot differently, but thats because its easier to blame and find fault then just say that somethings making her upset), my living grandparents are having health problems, i have to find a place to live still and i have to find a post grad job and somehow, all i have problems with are a nasty case of tmj and acid reflux.....
wow... just writting that all out, im surprised im standing on two feet....
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-12 08:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-12 12:33 pm (UTC)who knows how soon the ice cream truck will drive down the street, and you have to make a choice, lay there and let it run you over, or get up and order a dilly bar....
Ok.. well it made sense to me lmao . That's what I get for staying up too late again. lol
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-12 02:43 pm (UTC)i learned that by having problems in school, switching majors 2 different times, my dad getting sick wtih cancer again, then my grandpa and then dads cancer spreading and grandpa dying and dads cancer spreading amunst other problems, living with my emotionally needed gram all summer, dealing with my family, coming back to school, struggling, going home to watch my father die, to struggle with actually learning what relationships with boys are actually (joy and heartbreak alike) to trying to keep my head above water while helping most of my friends through all their problmes and most of them just in a pay attention to me mode and hardly remembering that im hurting and grieving mode and this is all within in the last 2 years and im set to graduate in may and im scared out of my mind, well i will walk in may and recieve my diploma after i finish the 3 classes i will be finishing over the summer, hopefully i can get them done. i also, among classes, am watching my mom sell the only house i have ever lived in, my sister and i havent spoken to eachother for 2 months because she cant deal with the fact that dad died (she would probably see it a lot differently, but thats because its easier to blame and find fault then just say that somethings making her upset), my living grandparents are having health problems, i have to find a place to live still and i have to find a post grad job and somehow, all i have problems with are a nasty case of tmj and acid reflux.....
wow... just writting that all out, im surprised im standing on two feet....